Some Friends!!!


was feeling a little bored... i know, i should be doing my aftereffects.... well, hope you like this little montage ... mostly old photos of some the friends i see very often. couldn't find a pic of veron btw... hmm.. i go zouk or juice website sure got haha!!!

On saturday night, i found out what a nice drink Butterscotch was. Like melted chocolate in a shot. lovely.I've been surfing alot of other Deviant Artist's site recently, posting comments and stuff. It's a strategy see: I want people to comment on my stuff, but people rarely surf on in by chance, so i comment on theirs, they often come to my site and check out my gallery then a few actually post comments! It's lovely to see comments, because you sort of know that people have thought about your work/writings instead of glancing at them y'know. hopefully people do this for my blog too! hehe... see the point of posting on the net is for people to see, because otherwise i'd have written in my diary instead. Nothing like shameless promotions!

added a link to Tara's blog, she hasn't added much yet coz FYP is still going on, but her dad will be getting cable soon, so we'll have a larger circle of friends typing on the net instead of having actual conversations with each other! just joking, i still want to talk to all of them, hehe...

*oops just got feedback that my comment script isn't working. just when i make a nice photo montage of my frens! well, it'll be up soon, monday or tuesday i guess...

pre-dawn musings
I'm in the animation lab right now, burning some large video footage onto CDRW so that i can work on my laptop overnight in the post pro woth jason and zom.

I just came from reading the blogs of the people on my links list. it seems zom is all our pillar of hope, encouraging each one of us when we feel down. he seems to take his own 'down time' as inconsequential, while trying his best to keep others up. why aren't more of us like that? We tend to be more focused on our own suffering when we feel it, closing our eyes to the pain around us, even the pain on people we care for. i find it nearly impossible to tear myself away from my own despair, but if someone can bring themselves away from their own to try and comfort me, i think it's worth my very best effort to ignore my fears and do what i must.

thank you Tara, and thank you Zom. it's a sleepless night ahead, i will make it fruitful too.

i am going paranoid. i may be wrong, because as the very intelligent poster of the movie "Enemy of the State" tells me, it's not paranoia if they are really after you.

i tried reaching out, but time after time get ignored, gone against, and hurt. time after time i am excluded, untold, kept from.

why should this matter? but then again, why should they enjoy it, because i sure can't, and it's a bitter feeling not to have something everyone else is enjoying. but then again, it's not the enjoyment itself. sheesh.

my nightmares must stop

Saturday Night Fever
Boy it was such a gay time! after the hip hop bboy event at zouk on sat night, i joined Phin and two more of his gay friends with Jason. Gosh they really know how to enjoy themselves! The other two gay guys are both Mariah Carey fans/incarnations, one was jon and the other was Chua Eng Lai, the "Wo Bu Zhi Dao" guy from the ikea ad.

Free alcohol from them till three ar wine bar, and then it was at Phin's house with Jason's JD and Hose tequila, until i passed out at six am. Non stop jokes, laughs, even meaningful conversations. Great time. Phin has alot of gay porn. Yup.

Woke up at 3pm at Phin's, went home dehydrated form all the alcohol. The world of homosexuals was dramatic and hedonistic. We shared views abt hetero-homo differences, fag jokes, and who we think were gay. great fun.

48hrs - no sleep
but the leaping off the balcony into jason's pool after his shoot has renewed my vigour... hehehe

Cassandra has joined my short list of links-to-blogs-of-people-that-i-really-do-know! Deviant Art links are up too, you can see The Hobbits comic if you haven't (who am i talking to?? the people who would read this have probably seen it 1742579 times). Too bad it cant upload sound and video files...

Crit today went shockingly well. I thought i was dead with 7 seconds of footage to show, but Angela and Alphie asked to see my work in 3d lab and i was given the oppurtunity to show all the source material and working footage... turns out they like the stuff, think i'm on the right track and are looking forward to the final product. Phew. i really really thought i was going to die. I hadn't slept the last day, kept awake by 3 cans of red bull and the struggle to survive by turbo blasting on my project.

tonight shall be a good night to sleep.

the link of the day is: Random is Good

Sex and the City
Just watched like 20 episodes at a go. Now typing this, i feel like Carrie Bradshaw. Carrie Bradshaw knows good sex! haha

I've been telling Jason recently i'm creatively catatonic. Just like the deer crossing the country highway freezing at the headlights, eyes wide, staring, body unmoveable. That's me, at the computer, pupils focused on the Adobe AfterEffects, and soon the impact from this catatonia will kill me like a little bambi who just wanted to try out some motion graphics. The question is this: What is the question?

Why do i freeze up and go blank like an impotent man's ejaculation? It never seems to be a problem when it's someone else's problem... so my problems actually earn their name by being problematic. I read in a horoscope book that deers born on my day tend to like to solve other people's problems but neglect their own. True true, but it's horoscope y'know. more genaric then a 60yr old.

I remember being the creative watermelon in older days, juices flowing and endless. I was the shifu of kung fu of words of puns and jokes and quick wit. innovative visions would come to me at the rate of muslims to the holy rock of Mecca. What the fuck happened? My ex-fertile mind has gone barren, unable to conceive of ideas so early in life?

As a kid, i've wanted to be a writer, artist and musician. It's evolved into many things, i've tried to be quite a few different things: zinester, comic artist, bassist, director, designer... none of which i've done well. i know it's early to judge any of these, but still this watermelon is dry. hmmf. ugh. sigh.

It's been awhile since i've had a day to do nothing. It's beautiful. No one to meet by any time, no place to be, nothing immediate to do.If i choose to do any of the above, it would be purely out of the desire, not necessity

I think i'm going to go downstairs and buy a teh.
~Incubus, Echo

Death. Five letter word.
I know at least 10 people with 2 degrees of seperation of the guys who died in the recent motorcycle fatality. These few days, they've been going to the wake, coming back with sombre faces, recollections of the open casket.

I heard on the radio in a cab, then on the news later at night yesterday, there has been a third murder in the same week. In Singapore, my home, my country. it's not patriotism, it's proximity.

How do we know if a death is timely? Snuffing out of a life is the end of so much possibility, heck every moment is possibility. The closest two deaths i've been near to are my grandfather and Waicheong. My granddad died in his sleep, i spent the next day at his house, when not in the living room, in his bedroom chanting the name of amitabha buddha next to his body. He looked asleep. My father was his oldest son. My uncles gave him a change of clothes then carried him out with a cloth over his head to the transport.

I received a call from Chunmeng three days after my 15th birthday, june 5th, that Waicheong was departed. His wake was on the 6th, Waich's birthday. We were supposed to celebrate together. The casket was open, i looked upon the make-up artist's work after Waich's 14th storey leap. I laid my laminated embellishment of his name at his hands, it was supposed to be for him to stick on his room door. I didn't cry like my friends did at the time, but i needed their help getting over Waich's departure for the next few months.

The Return of Daredevil!

Last night i went to cineleisure to watch Chicago with Tara. Got the tix, hung around till the showtime, went in, took out seats, saw the trailers, movie ads, then.... 20th Century Fox! Regency Films Distrubution! Marvel Productions? Wait a minute... High rised buildings with lights turning into braille and text? Haven't i seen this before?... Whip out the ticket stub... it reads... D-A-R-E-D-E-V-I-L.

Sigh, I hated the show. Now i'm watching it again on a saturday night. $8.50 for a second viewing of a show that sucked.

Somehow, it wasn't as bad as i thought. In fact it was pretty good, maybe it was the company hehe. Noticed alot of 'metaphors' in the film, some of which were quite literal. Did you spot them? here's the ones i caught:

1. When the young Matt Murdock was on his way to The Olympic boxing ring/theater, there was a high angle shot of him walking behind his father, with his father out of shot. His father had a devil cape which cast a horned shadow into shot. So on that night, young Matt walks into the shadow of the devil following his father's murder. Thus foreshadowing his 'descent' into seeking justice.

2. After the rooftop scene with Electra and Matt, they consumate their love (read 'fuck'). The first indoor shot after they kiss in the rain is of Matt's gothic sculptures.The sculpture is of a man and woman in each other's arms, naked, and the man's hand cupping the woman's breast. Presumably Matt and Electra's foreplay petting...

3.Still on the sex scene, at the end of the scene, the shot leads off the copulating couple and into a fireplace. Burning, hot and fiery on wood. Pretty obvious "Flames of Desire" metaphor.

4. After Bullseye smashes DareDevil to the podium in the cathedral, the camera cranes down form a high angle shot to the ground, with the huge Mother Mary statue. The out of focus, but clearly recognizable Mother Mary statueis framed such that it is always on Daredevil's side, and towards the end of the crane shot, it's shot as if her arm shields him and her hand is laid on him. Thus the director associates qualities of holiness, compassion, power and reverence with DareDevil.

5. Most revealing of all the metaphors, was after DareDevil defeats Kingpin. DD spares his life saying he's the good guy and leaves. Then we cut to a shot of his devil's mask left behind on the floor. There a broken rose with petals scattered lies, and water mixes with blood to flow out from under the rose. Very Straight forward metaphor of DD's victory, kingpin broken, bleeding, defeated.

It was quite refreshing to spot these, maybe you'd see them if you watch the show again, if you didn't already the first time. I enjoyed the show, especially the foreshadowing techniques and sometimes cliche metaphors. Nice. Any thoughts on these?


On another note, I just came back after jason's shoot, for Affirmation of Allegiance. Fun, tiring, good. more days coming up.

more songs to download!

actually they're the same songs, but now they're with vocals!!!!!! got some stuff to type, but feel like going cycling right now. cycle to orchard!

Is all lost? i'm not sure. I am very disturbed.

Well at least some new layout is in place. I changed it already but then i found out zom had the same. don't wanna steal his wind there, so here's another one. i know it's just a template, but it does take some time to figure out where to add the links and comment script. Hello zom! Welcome to the realm of one way communication! If you click on my comment link, there's a link to how to get your own comment script.

Anyway, two of the 14 eightball songs are nearly completed on the instrumental side. Recording krissy tomolo for vocals. can u spot the mistakes? I'm Cursed has all the drums on one side only, i didn't rout the output sources properly, and the last part has crazy loud drums. There will be smoothened out towards it's completion, yes even the long silence i recorded in by accident at the back. Can you spot the mistake i played on the bass? For Haunt Your Days, everything's fine, but seems to have a lack of middle frequencies, maybe i should get nelson to record another guitar track for it.

Quite excited about them. Alas i wish i'm making as much progress on my fyp as the eightball's album. At least there was some progress today, better than last week. No timeleft, gotta turbo the juice. ah, i'm so tired, in my heart. only the album recording seems uplifting right now.

What's happening? I've fallen and am bleeding, but i have to run again. Pretend it all never happened.

my heart is broken.