Of Noodles and Spew

I just wrote a super long post but my Safari crashed and now it's gone. :(
Here's a short concise version, i shall be nursing my pain in a corner after this.

All my talk in the last post about that food made me really miss singapore food. So i finally got off my ass and cooked Hokkien Noodles Singapore Style. Oh and someStir Fry Chicken Breat in Onion and Chinese White Win just for kicks.

Thanks Simon for taking the pics, chopping the onions, and washing the dishes hehehe. Oh and Ian my housemate for helping me finish the food.


How? looks authentic or not? It sure does taste authentic! I was so damn full that night. Oh it was Saturday night. Sorry Bebe, i didn't call u coz i knew ur Dad was visiting and i didn't wanna disturb...



---------------
*disclaimer: Do not read further if you are easily grossed out.

I have come to the conclusion that this shirt:

is cursed, hexed, voodoo-ed and generally makes me "suay". When it comes to a night out of drinking that is.

The reason is because on Friday Night, I had a great time clubbing with Adam, Gj and Ti-an. In the cab however the vehicular motion forced Adam's body to forcefully reject it's recently added contents all over the cab... and me.

I'm fine with it, I've seen so much i'm not afraid, besides half the time the puke i've witnessed was my own.

However, I do recall another event when something similar happened. The great alcohol consumer Sir Keith Teo was driving the as comparable drinker Sir Jason Riley and me home. Keith didn't get sloshed coz he was driving, and being one of the rare times Jason could drink excessively knowing he would be taken care of (i'd normally topple first), Jay was pretty damn sloshed.

At 80km/h on the AYE, Jay suddenly ejected out his window and his spew flew out... and back into my open window. It left a silhouette of clean leather seat and rear wind screen. Jason got home fine, I was covered in barf from face hair specs down to waist, my brother Karl helped Keith clean his car when he got me home. Keith had a bitch of a time getting rid of the smell though, and found salvation in army medical center disinfectant.

Can you guess what shirt i was wearing during both these times I got the "merlion me" foolscap taped on my face? Thank you, ten points for your correct and tragic answer.

You know how special events always happen in threes? I got two strikes, and I'm never wearing this shirt clubbing again.

Hokkien Noodles and a Shirt

After my rant about all this Singaporean food in my last post, and coping with craving for the past few months, I finally got off my ass and cooked Singaporean Hokkien Noodles! I called my mum, asked the recipe, had Simon over to help (he took the photos).

My housemate didn't know i had this dinner planned, so he marinated some chicken in the afternoon. Then he realized i was cooking for everyone he asked me to cook the chicken too. So what i got was:

Singapore Hokkien Noodles (authentic style)
Stir Fried Chicken Breast in Onion and Chinese White Wine


Looks authentic enough? I was so so full that night. Oh it was Saturday night when this happened.


-------------------

This topic isn't very appetizing. If you are extremely averse to vomit, please stop reading.

After a few disparate events, i have come to a conclusion that this shirt:

is cursed.

I really like this shirt. I've had quite some fun in this shirt. However, events that happened on Friday night triggered a recollection that leads me to believe that this shirt has been hexed, voodoo-ed, and is generally "suay". At least when drinking is involved that is.

Why do I say this? Because on Friday night, i went clubbing with Adam, GJ and Ti-an. I had a sambuca jedi shot, 2 vodka shots, a tequila shot, a pint of beer, and two damn strong Long Island Teas (I counted 6 shots went into them in total). However, I was once a student of the great Jason Riley, alcohol consumer of great renown. After intensive study and tutelage over the course of 5 years, and the last few months of home education, this night I took the role the great Sir Riley used to play all the while. The indomitable chaperone. Adam however had not gotten the priviledged cultivation I had amassed.

So as the evening deepened, everyone got sloshed. Oh I was sloshed too. But the training had created a zone of complete alertness and concern for friends amidst the haze of expanded relaxation intoxication brought.

When it was time to leave, we shared a cab and got off one by one. GJ got off first so he missed the whole adventure. You see, with Ti-an in the front seat and Adam next to me in the back, the nearly comatose Adam reacted strongly to the moving vehicle. He was fine and conscious barely, but i trusted his swaggering steps to be safe. The motion of the automobile however caused his highly stressed body to forcefully reject the liquid and semi-digested contents of his dinner. It was a merlion rarely seen in my long experiance of watching people spew.

The stream burst forth in two short spasms, hitting the ceiling and his chest, before warming up into a 4 second long continuous gush. There was a piece of unchewed chicken skin from the curry he cooked for us earlier in the evening. A short break for breath cut in before a second, longer 7 second stream erupted. By now the cabbie had stopped and during this long 7 seconds, Adam tried to get out of the car to direct the exodus onto the road. I was sitting curbside but I had not gotten out fast enough. Though by now my bottom was damp from the pool on the seat, my late maneuver caught half the avalanche at the waist level as Adam tumbled out my side of the car.

Somehow, I didn't feel disgusted at all. I've seen so much of this, and done the act very often during my time too. I wiped myself with a tissue and what i could of the cab. We paid an extra 40 bucks to the cabbie as an apology and cleaning fees. I saw Adam home safely, and went home myself after he cleaned up and put himself to bed. I laughed and joked with him and made sure he was ok.

The point however was that i was wearing the above featured shirt. When i got home at 5.30am, i took it off and mulled over what it had been through. This was the very same shirt that....

*cue flashback sequence watery dissolve

It was early 2005 after a crazy night at Double O, Mohammud Sultan. The great Sir Jason Riley was in the company of the great Keith Teo, a drinker of comparable greatness. I went to Far East Plaza after quite a few drinks with them to meet John and Johnathan to knock off a bottle of Jim Beam. 3 hours later an extremely rarely seen drunk Jason pulls up to bring me home, Keith the responsible driver having taken care of Jason. I got in the back seat and we were off.

I had rarely seen the master Jason so drunk before. We were running on the AYE at 80km/h, windows down. I was pretty drunk but wasn't going to puke. Out of a sudden Jason spewed out the window.

His barf flew out of his window, and at 80km/h, flew into my window in the back seat. It left a silhouette of clean leather seat and rear wind screen. My face, spectacles, and entire upper body was coated.

We dropped Jason off fine, my brother Karl helped Keith clean up, Keith has a bitch of a time getting rid of the smell. He found his elixir in medical disinfectant the next day, from the army medical center.

Can you guess now what shirt i was wearing when this happened? Ten points for you, you are correct. My very beloved yellow flowery polo tee of questionable sexuality. With two similar events linking to this attire, one cannot help but suspect a curse has been laid down on this very piece of clothing. And they say all things happen in threes. Two down, one more to go.

To break this vicious cycle of "spew me" written on my body, Sidney Koh shall no longer wear this shirt to a drinking situation again. ever. amen.

"Singapore" Food i Never Eat Before

*Disclaimer: Food Pic ahead. If you are Fasting, view this after sundown or before sunrise.

Before i start, this is what i ate this morning. I was thinking about it before i fell asleep, and and a result i had a huge dream about cooking and eating this and i woke up feeling so *ahem very very GIAN and i jumped out and cooked this.

Herb and Garlic Fish Fillets (Oven Baked)
Sauteed Mushrooms, Onion, Garlic, Basil Leaves, in cooking butter.
Damn shiok when it went down my throat i tell you hor.

ok. on with the post. Today, I am talking about
"Singapore" Food i Never Eat Before
I mentioned this on the Eightball Blog and I've done some investigation into this. Please look at Diagram A.

Those of you that have heard of "Singapore Noodles" before one hor, please raise your hands. <*lone mynah cheeps outside class window). Eh, this is not Xing Zhou Chao Mi Fen ok. Look closely at picture A.1 . You eat before anything that look like that anot? Looks like some blood come out after a long and painful watery session. Please look at subsequent pictures A2, A3 and A4. From the cover, it looks like our beloved "Yellow Noodle", the joy of mee rebus, prawn mee and red colored indian mee goreng with egg on top. But do not be tricked. It is actually powdery to the taste, and is more akin to pasta al dente or rubber bands. For the very young and very old, there is also the 'soft' version,in picture A4.

Oh oh, look at A5, "Singapore Noodle Sauce". The color is like plum sauce, and when i surrepticiously slipped the cover off and took a whiff, it smelled sweet. This noodle i have never heard of before has a sauce i have never heard of before, how congruent. it's what you need if you want to be an "Asian Home Gourmet", just make sure none of your guests are indeed Asian, or else they will see through your flimsy guise of pseudo pan-global cuisine straight away. It is as Singaporean as Sophie and Montgomery planning their attack on the comatose Adam (see diagram A6)

Let's move on to Diagram B:

Look at the left side of diagram B1: Singapore Hainanese Chicken Rice. um... hello? Hainanese come from Hainan Island in China, not Singapore... Singaporeans sell this kind of chicken rice by advertising the taste of Hainan Island of China... It is not a Singaoporean creation... though it is very much loved by Singaporeans. However, equating Hainanese with Singaporean is like saying Bangladeshis are Pakistanis (you'll get a nuclear winter before you explain your ignorance).

Now lets look at the right side of diagram B1. Laksa. Coconut curry noodles. Those of you that think that Laksa is actually "Coconut Curry Noodles" please raise your hand. <*lone mynah cheeps outside class window>. But then, apparantly, to them hor, it is Coconut Curry Noodles. If i ask my friends in Singapore to go eat Coconut Curry Noodles they will tell me to fly kite.

If you squint a little, diagram B2 actually says Laksa 'Kit". Quite neat huh? A Laksa Kit. In fact it's just a box, a satchet of seasoning, dried cup noodle noodles. But you got a Laksa Kit. That doesn't taste like Laksa with the wrong noodles too. Look at diagram B3, got see Laksa look like that or not? If got, you power. I never. This Laksa looks like it's good friends with Campbell's Cream of Mushroom and Cream of Chicken. Oh and it even states clearly it's "ASIAN" Laksa in case you mistake it as American, European or god forbid, Australian Laksa.

Sorry about the blur pic in diagram B4. By the time i took this pic i was too shaken with horror.

Look at Diagram B6. Hokkien Noodles. Do you see any white noodle in it? The lovely delectable white noodle we call thick bee hoon, the mainstay of Laksa and Fish Head Bee Hoon Soup? I don't see it either. In Fact, ALL Hokkien noodles sold in Sydney have no thick Bee Hoon inside. It's only the yellow powdery rubber bands inside, exactly the stuff you see in Diagram A(see above). It's all Bluff. And if you look closely at Diagram B5, the Hokkien Noodle Sauce, the picture actually got Broccolliinside. HOKKIEN NOODLE WHERE GOT BROCCOLLI ONE?!


Finally, here are two products which promise alot more accurate portrayal of their culture/countries of origin. The reason is because the makers are good 'ol Yeo Hiap Seng, the guys that gave us the smirking cat in the chin chow commercial. Yeo's have perfectly captured the texture, aroma and taste of what they set out to achieve. The Singapore Curry Sauce (Diagram C1), is overpriced, got GST, cannot eat in kopitiams and bustops or else fine $500, but tastes great. The Malaysian Curry Sauce (diagram C2) is alot cheaper, can eat anywhere, finish oredi throw where you like, tastes great, but got danger, might get robbed or get food poisoning.

Ok, That wraps up my look on
"Singapore" Food i Never Eat Before
Till next time, seeya folks.

Advanced Global Personality Test Results Extraversion |||||||||||||| 56% Stability |||||||||| 33% Orderliness |||||||||| 33% Accommodation |||||||||||||||| 70% Interdependence |||||||||||| 50% Intellectual |||||||||||||||| 63% Mystical |||||||||||||||||||| 90% Artistic |||||||||||||||||||| 90% Religious |||||||||||||||| 63% Hedonism |||||||||||||||||||| 90% Materialism |||||||||||||||| 70% Narcissism |||||||||||| 50% Adventurousness |||||||||||||||||||| 83% Work ethic |||||||||||||| 56% Self absorbed |||||||||||| 50% Conflict seeking || 10% Need to dominate |||||| 30% Romantic |||||||||||||||||||| 90% Avoidant |||||||||||||| 56% Anti-authority |||||| 23% Wealth |||||||||||| 50% Dependency |||||||||||||||| 63% Change averse |||||| 30% Cautiousness |||||||||||||||||||| 90% Individuality |||||||||||||||||||| 83% Sexuality |||||||||||||||||| 76% Peter pan complex |||||||||||||| 56% Physical security |||||||||||||||||||| 90% Physical Fitness |||||||||||||||| 64% Histrionic |||||| 23% Paranoia |||||||||| 36% Vanity |||||||||||||||| 70% Hypersensitivity |||||||||||||| 56% Female cliche |||||||||||| 43%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

So my highest traits are: Accommodation, Mystical, Artistic, Hedonism, Materialism, Adventurousness, Romantic, Cautiousness, Individuality, Sexuality, Physical Security, Vanity.

My lower traits are: Stability, Orderliness, Conflict Seeking, Need to Dominate, Anti-Authority, Change Averse, Histrionic, Paranoia, Female Cliche.

I've taken tons of personality tests. Take one every 6 months, you find some attention drawn to how you've changed.

It's true i have a low anti-authority attitude while feeling a need for individuality at the same time. I've always lacked orderliness, but lacking stability is a more recent trait. Cautiousness is also a new trait. It wasn't like so before.

I'm glad my paranoia has dropped. It used to be sky high, but now i guess my personal security has grown a little, but i don't think it's healthy yet. Dependency has also diminished, that's nice, but i guess i had no choice.

I'm surprised it rated my physical security highly. I'm somewhat unsure about that, but i'm not down in the dumps about it thats for sure. Materialism has gone up, the harshness of reality seems to have caught up with me. Hedonism began to grow from the stifling hell of the army days as an escape.

My own perceived identity would very probably vary from what others think about me. I can justify, reason, even excuse myself for my thought processes, but what others see are without my internal insight, purely interpreted from my actions and words... and their own bias or prejudice. So who i i think i am may not be who people think i am.

I'm fine with that. I don't think their picture of me is wrong. It's slanted from mine yes, but my own ideas are slanted too. I don't think anyone is right, not me not them. What i do have however is knowledge of my past, and how my personality have evolved. That puts my currency into perspective. I realize i've changed so much, but i'm not sure if it's for the better or not. I miss the things i've lost, i hope i am mentally equipped to achieve the things i've set out to do.

oh and here's another new high in my character traits: Mystical

feels pulled to the symbolic, archetypal, and mysterious; likes to look wierd, believes in extra sensory perception, lives an experimental life, frequently reinvents self, more abstract than logical, more likely to be a trauma survivor, looks for hidden meaning, attracted to wierdness, different, off beat, unpredictable, more solitary, focus on fantasies more than reality, drawn to artistic and cutting edge industries, bohemian, prefers autonomy, erotic, charmer, insightful, prefers strange clothing

on second thoughts, i don't think it's new heh...

---------------------

Haven't blogged in awhile. School is killing me, it's pretty crazy busy at the moment. I don't spend all my time doing work of course, i can't. Busy relieving the stress hahaha. Botched up cooking my dinner just now, haven't cooked for 3 weeks, now like cannot cook already. Whole of past week been having dinner at Adam's, he cooks large amounts for his dusk fast breaking, it's fantastic. Had the most curry this week since... leaving Singapore haha. Good stuff, prata, samosas the works...

---------------------


Brief: Logo to represent your professional expertise. I forgot all about it, woking on the major projects made me forget about the minor ones (15% marks, i'm working on the 60% one) Came to class, once more realized it too late, rushed this out in half an hour. Last Transmission, don't sue me!

One week is over of my 2 week term break. Starting Tuesday, Adam and I took road trips to the west, north and south of Sydney New South Wales.


Before i begin, let me say an eulogy to my dearest mp3 player: my Creative Zen.

When i saw Kentie's post abt her friend's ipod, little did i know the same fate would befall upon my unfortunate soul. Lesson learnt, do not put ur player in ur back pocket of a tight pair of black jeans and bend over picking up the socks you are about to wear to go for a road trip. Sigh, it still plays music, but i don't know what i'm selecting. So sad...

So, Day 1, Tuesday 27th September.
Off to the Blue Mountains in the west. It's called the blue mountains because the reserve is full of gum trees, and the eucalyptus oils released into the air form a fine mist that relects the sunlight to give it a blue sheen all over the mountains. Of course when i was there i got a very foggy idea of that because of the fog.


The little mountain town of Katoomba was where we had lunch, and trek around the amazing sights.


Leura is an even smaller village with just one street with shops. The streets are lined with beautiful blooming spring flowers, and there seemed to be a festive spirit in the town even during this wierd time. We christened Christmas Town of Year round Visitation.



Day 2, 28th Sept, Wed

Today it's north we go. After my camera joined my Zen in the old folks home of decrepit and not fully functional electronics, i was quite upset and didn't take that many photos. But here's a few nice shots:

Beatrice joined us today, it's nice to have some new company too, but she said Adam and I talked so fast and she didn't understand much so she shut up 80% of the time hahaha. We drove by Farms, horse rances, and Aussie cows raised on a range which is supposed to be healthier and humane, but look so skinny i wondered if i have been misunderstanding from ads that all cows should be fat. On the was north to Gosford, we visited the Aussie reptile Farm, where somehow there were more dingos, wombats, koalas, and Roos than reptiles. There were free range roos that ran around and let u pat them... though i'm pretty sure they suppress their natural urge to box the annoying aussie kids trying to stuff grass in their mouths.

We had a seafood platter for dinner in Terringal, a seaside town full of old folks home. We speculated if this peacefull scenic town was known to be a popular retirement place, though the perpetual sea mist and cold winds would really kinda mess up your golden years with the athritis and rheumatism and all.


Day 3, 29th Sep, Thurs

Today it's south we go. The Southern Highlands! This was the best trip in my opinion, it was great fun.

We drove thru kangaroo valley where somehow there was no kangaroos to be seen. We travelled through a mountain road so scary and skinny we were laughing in fear and amusement. I got a multi award winning Cabernet Merlot at Centennial Vineyard in Bowral... we had interestingly a vegetarian lunch in a chinese restaurant... I got my balls scared off looking over Fitzroy Falls...


We did a roundabout hook and headed home up north on a different route. The seaside town of Kiama and it's famous blowhole... trekked out to the raging waves, on cliffs only 10 metres or so away from lethal rips... and watched the beautiful bay and spray sing their song since time eternal... awwww...


It was a great long trip, and the fun was amazing. Maybe in november we'll go to melbourne and visit veron and sue ann!