Untimely death has led me astray
couldn't get back to sleep after having a nightmare. ironic it is that earlier on we performed our new song 'Nightmare'.

it's 6.15am now. slept at 5, woke at 5.30, slept again, cant get back to sleep now.

The nightmare is the worst i've had in a long long time. usually it's some vague situation where i feel really afraid, like the surroundings become scary or something. I dreamt of Tara, that she was unfaithful without repent. Thing is, she was just over here, aftere my gig we came over to house and we cuddled for so long, i was filling up the hole i had for missing her on her trip to Bintan.

Maybe coz i'm tired. And stressed abt FYP. Sad abt TTE. my neck hurts, i must've been sleeping in a bad position. Maybe all of that, somehow this nightmare is still leaving me fearful and quakey in my upper chest. I do not doubt her love in real life at all, but in the dream, she did it knowingly and still said she didn't doubt her love too. I didn't know what to do, i didn't blow up or break down or anything, i was just stunned. Sigh.

First thing when she wakes up i'm gonna tell her everything, just to reaffirm that she loves me... even though it didn't help in the nightmare. Still, i'm not gonna let this make me a paranoid. I love her too much.