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Everytime i wanna typee my blog, my bro's using, so in the end i type when i just wake up, which is about 1pm to 2pm, when i'm still in a just woke up state of mind.
What did i want to type last night? hmmm. oh. Yeah.
How do i know for sure that i trust a person more than he/she trusts me? Nono, the issue is not about trust, it's about... opening up? letting in? How does one know if i'm letting him'her in, but they aren't letting me in. Hey they're not obligated to. But i feel like i fawn over them, trying to care, when they don't about me. I feel desperate and cheap. So it must've been naive of me to be inviting to an open heart so that i'll get hurt? Coz the reason i do it coz i wanna be in other's hearts, and i figure, y'know, instead of waiting, let them in first, maybe i can go there. But when it doesn't happen, coz they're not obligated to reciprocate, i feel like a fucking open house where window shoppers mess up the displays.
Somehow some of my friends seem abit ... reserved. I feel like they're reserved in talking to me. It's like they're talking to me like i'm an acquaintance, y'know how it goes. "Hello, hows it going? Really? that's too bad. Yeah? I'll see if i have the time. Gotta go, seeya!" Sometimes in conversation somehow their eyes dart around, like it's either someone's tailing them, or they just don't want to look you in the eye.
You see, All this stems from my psycho-problem of wanting to be loved by everyone. I've always theorized it's coz i was the third child and been to top primary secondary schools and have fucking rich relatives when we're not rich at all comparing everything. Thankfully not all my friends are like that.
I love it when they call, it's because they remember me. I feel involved when they call me out, I feel taken seriously when they talk below the skin. They make me feel like we slack and drink teh in the kopitiam of their hearts.
Got so many comics to read recently, i feel my drawing mojo coming back bit by bit.... did three more pages to my "Year Behind" comic.... need to get the right pen to ink it!
Everytime i wanna typee my blog, my bro's using, so in the end i type when i just wake up, which is about 1pm to 2pm, when i'm still in a just woke up state of mind.
What did i want to type last night? hmmm. oh. Yeah.
How do i know for sure that i trust a person more than he/she trusts me? Nono, the issue is not about trust, it's about... opening up? letting in? How does one know if i'm letting him'her in, but they aren't letting me in. Hey they're not obligated to. But i feel like i fawn over them, trying to care, when they don't about me. I feel desperate and cheap. So it must've been naive of me to be inviting to an open heart so that i'll get hurt? Coz the reason i do it coz i wanna be in other's hearts, and i figure, y'know, instead of waiting, let them in first, maybe i can go there. But when it doesn't happen, coz they're not obligated to reciprocate, i feel like a fucking open house where window shoppers mess up the displays.
Somehow some of my friends seem abit ... reserved. I feel like they're reserved in talking to me. It's like they're talking to me like i'm an acquaintance, y'know how it goes. "Hello, hows it going? Really? that's too bad. Yeah? I'll see if i have the time. Gotta go, seeya!" Sometimes in conversation somehow their eyes dart around, like it's either someone's tailing them, or they just don't want to look you in the eye.
You see, All this stems from my psycho-problem of wanting to be loved by everyone. I've always theorized it's coz i was the third child and been to top primary secondary schools and have fucking rich relatives when we're not rich at all comparing everything. Thankfully not all my friends are like that.
I love it when they call, it's because they remember me. I feel involved when they call me out, I feel taken seriously when they talk below the skin. They make me feel like we slack and drink teh in the kopitiam of their hearts.
Got so many comics to read recently, i feel my drawing mojo coming back bit by bit.... did three more pages to my "Year Behind" comic.... need to get the right pen to ink it!
Sid found concrete manifestation for abstract/complicated/foolish/affected/inebrieted musings at 4:33 PM
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