one reason to be happy: I'm NOT working at Peach anymore!
two nights back i shoplifted at Borders. As far as i can remember, i've never ever shoplifted. Not even those cute little erasers when i was a kid. I pilfered a $20.50 sketchbook after swinging it through the detectors to see if it triggered. I'm so happy with my new sketchbook. i think i'm turning evil.
I used to keep a diary when i was younger. Starting from Pri5, i last wrote in year 1 poly i think. It seems when one enjoys themselves, they hardly write, or write much. When one is in the throes of despair, the pages fill with tear stained scratchings. Looking through my diaries, it seemed as if all i had was a lifetime of sorrow, yet i know for sure this wasn't so, there was joy here and there, but it wasn't to be found in the diaries.
I wrote alot when i was sad coz writing more than speaking clears your system better. Telling someone involves the complicated dynamics of trust, secrecy, pride etc. Writing in a diary is telling yourself, thus such problems cease to exist. Also, both speaking and writing being forms of communication, writing allows you to back track and read what you wrote, where as speaking doesn't permit that. Rereading my problems and how i've phrased them gave me much more new perspectives and sometimes diminishes how bad a situation seemed at the time. it's really helped.
In comparison, I rarely wrote when i was happy, simply because, i was just too busy enjoying myself. Just as most emotions are, the joy fleetingly fleets, and i'm left with fading recollections of it, while my diary refreshes the sorrowful memories. Sometimes rereading sad entries make me feel bad too. but i found that i had little good ones written down to fall back on.
At Poly, i kinda... grew. I figured if i could do it the other way around, wouldn't i be a much happier person? I'm still mired with my own problems, but recording the good times with more vivid detail and extent than i normally allocate to sad times, somehow has made my life look better on paper. It's still the same, but more on the better half. I smile when i read them, remembering such fun, such great events. It's made me feel good to reminisce, rather than bad. I like feeling good, don't you?
two nights back i shoplifted at Borders. As far as i can remember, i've never ever shoplifted. Not even those cute little erasers when i was a kid. I pilfered a $20.50 sketchbook after swinging it through the detectors to see if it triggered. I'm so happy with my new sketchbook. i think i'm turning evil.
I used to keep a diary when i was younger. Starting from Pri5, i last wrote in year 1 poly i think. It seems when one enjoys themselves, they hardly write, or write much. When one is in the throes of despair, the pages fill with tear stained scratchings. Looking through my diaries, it seemed as if all i had was a lifetime of sorrow, yet i know for sure this wasn't so, there was joy here and there, but it wasn't to be found in the diaries.
I wrote alot when i was sad coz writing more than speaking clears your system better. Telling someone involves the complicated dynamics of trust, secrecy, pride etc. Writing in a diary is telling yourself, thus such problems cease to exist. Also, both speaking and writing being forms of communication, writing allows you to back track and read what you wrote, where as speaking doesn't permit that. Rereading my problems and how i've phrased them gave me much more new perspectives and sometimes diminishes how bad a situation seemed at the time. it's really helped.
In comparison, I rarely wrote when i was happy, simply because, i was just too busy enjoying myself. Just as most emotions are, the joy fleetingly fleets, and i'm left with fading recollections of it, while my diary refreshes the sorrowful memories. Sometimes rereading sad entries make me feel bad too. but i found that i had little good ones written down to fall back on.
At Poly, i kinda... grew. I figured if i could do it the other way around, wouldn't i be a much happier person? I'm still mired with my own problems, but recording the good times with more vivid detail and extent than i normally allocate to sad times, somehow has made my life look better on paper. It's still the same, but more on the better half. I smile when i read them, remembering such fun, such great events. It's made me feel good to reminisce, rather than bad. I like feeling good, don't you?
Sid found concrete manifestation for abstract/complicated/foolish/affected/inebrieted musings at 5:28 PM
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