I'm at a party
Of someone who seems really nice, but i don't know her, mush less i'm using her computer blogging. Her name's Ingrid, such a classy name, she's Sonya's fren. lotsa VSC yr3s here. Just came from Crazy elephant where Winson and Celeste and gang were, and before that eightball jam session and crab fest.
Sigh. Feeling real wierd now. Ok so we've formally broken up. I've been expecting this, that everyone i see start conversation with "hey where's Tara?". I know they mean well, I knew my frens would do that. I prepared to answer with the whole, oh we had an amiable break up, we're frens now etc etc. But everytime i feel this pang. This stabbing pain sometimes that... sometimes stabs and withdraws so fast i wonder if it ever was there... thena few moments pass, i notice the blood and go hey, where did this come from? even though i know... feigning ignorance and all, it eases the pain in an escapist kinda way... ah well. I'm not that drowned in despair i used to be in the past... aLTHOUGH the medium of which i've been drowned in most of the time recently has some form of alcohol inside it.
I suddenly found out about how a few people had been romantically interested in me, through frens telling em abt it, and they told me after they heard we've broken up. I don't know to be flattered or insultled. I'm a little of both. A number of these 'admirers' i found somewhat attractive, although i do say attraction and love are far apart, and Tara has definately got my love. Sigh.
Eightball had our last jamming session today. It's a time of end for many things these few months. The end of Poly. The end of my longest, most loving, all round best relationship. the end of my favourite band in the whole wide world, with my favourite people inside even with their flaws. The end of my pink IC< at least for the nest two aNnd a half years.
It's gonna be some beginnnings too. army for one. I hope nothing else ends. i'm tired of ending.
the end of this post. the end.
Of someone who seems really nice, but i don't know her, mush less i'm using her computer blogging. Her name's Ingrid, such a classy name, she's Sonya's fren. lotsa VSC yr3s here. Just came from Crazy elephant where Winson and Celeste and gang were, and before that eightball jam session and crab fest.
Sigh. Feeling real wierd now. Ok so we've formally broken up. I've been expecting this, that everyone i see start conversation with "hey where's Tara?". I know they mean well, I knew my frens would do that. I prepared to answer with the whole, oh we had an amiable break up, we're frens now etc etc. But everytime i feel this pang. This stabbing pain sometimes that... sometimes stabs and withdraws so fast i wonder if it ever was there... thena few moments pass, i notice the blood and go hey, where did this come from? even though i know... feigning ignorance and all, it eases the pain in an escapist kinda way... ah well. I'm not that drowned in despair i used to be in the past... aLTHOUGH the medium of which i've been drowned in most of the time recently has some form of alcohol inside it.
I suddenly found out about how a few people had been romantically interested in me, through frens telling em abt it, and they told me after they heard we've broken up. I don't know to be flattered or insultled. I'm a little of both. A number of these 'admirers' i found somewhat attractive, although i do say attraction and love are far apart, and Tara has definately got my love. Sigh.
Eightball had our last jamming session today. It's a time of end for many things these few months. The end of Poly. The end of my longest, most loving, all round best relationship. the end of my favourite band in the whole wide world, with my favourite people inside even with their flaws. The end of my pink IC< at least for the nest two aNnd a half years.
It's gonna be some beginnnings too. army for one. I hope nothing else ends. i'm tired of ending.
the end of this post. the end.
Sid found concrete manifestation for abstract/complicated/foolish/affected/inebrieted musings at 6:03 AM
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